I will expand on one idea as of late that I have had. And keeping with my ever negative and critical theme it is me suggesting in a not so nice way how other people should avoid failures. This post in particular relates to a race put on by our local co-op here in Atlanta last week. While I have never been one to take crap or criticism for how i score the races I put on from my participants, I am exempt from this rule in this instance because I didn't race this year. Every year for three years running victory has narrowly escaped my clutches and I find the routes to be overlong for what my view of what the scope of an alleycat should be, and under-creative in the checkpoint department for what I know can be pulled off. Of the length and checkpoints I will make no judgement as I was not there, and of my previous years experience with the race those opinions are no secret and so long ago that no one is likely to care. I "wouldn't" have raced for those reasons but would have been open to last minute ridicule or peer pressure to end up doing it begrudgingly. I didn't race because of a mean case of food poisoning that only allowed me to choke down two packets of ramen the 30 some odd hours before the race. Either way I heard many people complaining about how they handled the tattoo stop scoring.
What I have an opinion of is "THE TATTOO STOP."
Before I begin let me say that this criticism is in no way directed towards THE TATTOO SHOP that essentially donates their time and supplies to make the race better for anyone who has the balls to get a stupid race tattoo. I have no idea how they get enough stencils and patience and etc. to make it happen. The only thing I ask of whichever shop I work with for a stop is some slight input in design of the tattoo or tattoos available to riders, and I ask them how much to tell the people to bring, and let them know that they have the power to disqualify a rider if they're being a dick and I'll stick by it, and suggest that they use a sign up sheet because that has always worked in the past.
My problem is in the SCORING of the tattoo.
In any race I have ever been through or put on with a tattoo stop the timing of the tattoo varies. One person can get through in ten to twenty minutes, and the person who arrives four people after them will be there for an hour. Thats the nature of the beast, and racing, like tattoos and life is unpredictable. When you know it's going to take an hour, maybe go knock out a couple of other checkpoints, or if you know everybody is going straight to the tattoo stop be sure to beat everyone else so that you can be first on that list. Or if you know you can't beat everyone there, count on hitting the tattoo stop last thing when you can hope the line has thinned out. Whatever not my beef still. My problem is that when it's all said and done you end up with some arbitrary and uneducated number of minutes subtracted from your total time. Like let's just pick 15. Not for any real good reason but just because well you have to give them something extra to get people to do it? Wrong.
The correct and it should be universally standard way to score a race involving a tattoo stop is thus. You take the time of the first person to complete the race without a tattoo. Let us for easy maths sake say 60 minutes. You then take the time of the first person to come in with a tattoo. Let us say that this persons time was 87minutes. You subtract b from a and you get 27. Now here is the key you add one minute to that and you get the time bonus for getting the tattoo in that particular race(28minutes if you aren't catching my drift). Thus the first rider to come in with a tattoo(more dedication/pain etc. put into race) becomes your first place winner. You explain this ahead of time, and people who want the first place shut the fuck up and get the tattoo(this is what you want anyways right? more potential customers getting to meet the artists at your favorite tattoo shop right? that's what they would want right?). This takes the tattoo stop from the realm of it could be worth it but maybe not? to the realm of fuck yeah i'm getting the race tattoo I want to win don't I.
Possible arguments?
What about people who are under 18?
What are you doing at my illegal race anyways? Isn't it past your bedtime? Do your parents know what time it is and you are all ready annoying me by having to pour you a loogie hotsauce shot in place of the tall boy you would have to swig at the drinking stop,(you do know that you need a drinking stop don't you?)
I don't get tattoos?
Well time to get your first. Oh religious reasons? Well religious fanatics have ruled the world since forever, so here is my hour of payback. Oh you just don't want to? Well I just don't want you to personally win...grow some thicker skin and let somebody pound ink into it with needles.
Unfair advantage?
Look roadie your legs are allready shaved so not only does that cut down your wind resistance but that would further cut down your tattoo time so shut the fuck up.
So anyways this is how I feel about this, and you can rest assured it is the way I and my shop will score tattoo stops whenever they happen, all I can hope to do is change the world one trivial bike related nuance at a time.
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